October 4, 2022

Tobias Harris Or a Bag of Doritos?

Photo by Bill Streicher/USA TODAY Sports

In the 2020-21 NBA season, Tobias Harris was a borderline all star. Now, just one season later, Harris is looking like an inefficient roleplayer. Currently, Tobias Harris has the 12th largest contract in the NBA. Unfortunately, the 11 year veteran hasn’t been playing like it. 

Last season Tobias Harris finally played like an All-Star. Averaging 19.5 ppg, shooting 51.2 FG%, and 39.4 3PT%. In particular right before the All-Star break Harris was on a hot streak. In this hot streak he let out his infamous “I’m an All-Star!!”. When playoff time came, his play saw a steady decline. In the first series against the Wizards, Harris played great. Even through the first two games of the Hawks series he was still playing like he did in the regular season. After that, the decline started. In game 7 against the Hawks, Harris was awful. He missed multiple open layups that let the Hawks chip away at the Sixers’ lead. Perhaps this was just a preview to what we would see this season.

Harris is still averaging 18.5 PPG this season, but he’s shooting 45.6 FG% and 29.9% from three. That is well below average, and Harris has gotten some very good looks this season. Even in the Sixers last game, Harris had the chance to give the Sixers the lead on a wide open look and left it short. This has been happening consistently this season where he is missing wide open looks. At some point this has to stop, but it likely won’t. The Sixers would be better off trading Harris but nobody would take on his massive contract. That being said, is Harris becoming that much of a liability for the Sixers? 

Well if the answer to that question is yes, then how do we get him out of Philadelphia?

My solution to that is simple… trade him, for a bag of chips. Previously, I’ve stated that I would trade him for a bag of Doritos, however, it’s not just Doritos that I’d trade him for. I could create a list of 50+ kinds of chips that I would trade him for. That list includes not just classic Doritos, but every other flavor. The same goes for lays for the most part, other than those low calorie “healthy” ones. Those things are pointless. When I’m eating chips I want some real junk food, not junk food trying to be healthy. I mean seriously, who goes to get some chips and says “Mmmm, low calorie potato chips, my favorite!” Exactly… nobody. I would trade Harris for some Takis or jalepeño chips in a heart beat, but there is one other kind of chip that stands out from the rest. This chip puts Tobias Harris to shame, and I would much rather spend $36 million a year on this than on him. The chip I am talking about is none other than the crab fry chip. Combining something so perfect with an everyday snack is such a genius idea. There are many other kinds of chips that I would trade Harris for but that list is way too long to make. 

Let’s hope that Harris can somehow make a huge turnaround this season, and get back into “I’m an All-Star!!” mode.

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